#FORREST GUMP DRILL SERGEANT HOW TO#
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#FORREST GUMP DRILL SERGEANT HOW TO#

To paraphrase US Supreme Court Justice Potter Stewart when expounding on how to identify pornography in 1964, you’ll know it when you see it. If you’ve ever had a father (or currently are one), you don’t need me to explain a Dad Joke. For most of his life (or at least as long as I knew him), he was a huge advocate and gleeful teller of Dad Jokes. But more importantly, we knew it would’ve made our dad laugh. “He died as he lived,” we’d say, nodding meaningfully. So we started telling people that he'd been killed by a colon parasite. We didn't want to be cheered up with idiotic aphorisms that put a positive spin on his medical condition. He died of an enlarged heart, and when the news spread in our neighborhood, well-meaning friends and acquaintances would walk up to my brother and me and tell us, “Your dad died as he lived, with a big heart.” It never failed to annoy us. But I think, maybe it’s both.This is a story about one of my favorite dad jokes. “If we each have a destiny or if we’re all just floating around accidental like, on a breeze. I think you should go home to Greenbow, Alabama!” – Forrest Gump.īubba’s Mom: Are you crazy or just plain stupid?įorrest: Stupid is as stupid does Mrs. “That’s all I have to say about that”- Forrest Gump I bought her a new hat with little flowers on it.” – Forrest Gump “She had got the cancer and died on a Tuesday. And I said that’s good, one less thing.” – Forrest Gump “He got me invested in some kind of fruit company, so then I got a call from em saying we don’t have to worry about money no more. “I was a national celebrity, famouser even than Captain Kangaroo” – Forrest Gump “I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.” – Forrest Gump Bubba was gonna be a shrimpin’ boat captain but instead, he died right there by that river in Vietnam.” – Forrest Gump “Bubba was my best good friend and even I know that ain’t something you can find just around the corner. Hyper Running Man: Whoa, you just ran through a big pile of dog shit! If God intended everybody to be the same, he’d have given us all braces on our legs” – Mrs. “Don’t ever let anybody tell you they’re better than you, Forrest. Lyndon Johnson: I understand you were wounded. Shoot, it even rained at night.” – Forrest Gumpįorrest: In the land of China, people hardly got nothing at all.įorrest: And in China, they never go to church. Little bit of stinging rain, big ol fat rain, rain that flew in sideways, and sometimes rain even seemed to come straight up from underneath. “We been through every kind of rain they is. You have to do the best with what God gave you.” -Mrs. “Well I happen to believe you make your own destiny.

#FORREST GUMP DRILL SERGEANT FREE#

“The only good thing about being wounded in the buttocks, is the free ice cream” – Forrest Gump Dan: But don’t you be thinking, that I’m gonna be calling you sir!

And I told you if you were ever a shrimp boat captain that I’d be your first mate. Well, Well, Captain Forrest Gump I had to see this for myself. Lieutenant Dan: Well, I thought I’d try out my sea legsįorrest: Well you ain’t got no legs, Lieutenant Dan.

Gump: You’re gonna have to figure that out for yourself.įorrest: Lieutenant Dan! What are you doing here? Jenny: Forrest…You don’t know what love is.ĭrill Sergeant: What’s your sole purpose in this army?įorrest: To do whatever you tell me, drill sergeant! You can’t keep trying to rescue me all the time. Jenny: You can’t keep doing this Forrest. “Jenny and me was like peas and carrots!” – Forrest Gump You never know what you’re gonna get.” – Forrest Gump “My mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.

Forrest gump drill sergeant